Sunday, February 3, 2008

Henry's Super Bowl XLII Live Blog says "So Long" ...

I am spent, so I will take my leave.

I want to thank everyone for their patronage. Your blog announcer for the day has been, of course, your faithful correspondent Henry, the self-aware tabby cat. Thanks to my host,

And thanks to Ian and Carla for the delicious Pounce/catnip dip.

So long ...

p.s. To the person who bet $100 on the Giants, 17-14, can I borrow a million dollars?
I never thought I'd say this but I'm sort of feeling, gulp, sorry, for Tom Brady in his sack dress. Am I an enemy of freedom?
Is this the best Super Bowl in like forEVVVVVVer?!
It's a good thing cats don't sweat or I'd need some serious Right Guard about now.
Eli Manning just pulled a Brett Favre. Yessssssss!
Tom Brady just opened the compartment on his bionic arm to look at the digital readout of his play list. It paid off.
Will somebody tell me when this play is over? I can't look.
Bill Belichick is gonna need Botox after this game. Get a load of that furrowed brow.
I haven't been this excited since the Panthers' QB Jake Delhomme split his pants.
Did someone spike my catnip? I don't believe what I'm seeing.
Damn. I almost feel sorry for Tom Brady. He forgot to put on his WristStrong bracelets.
Pam Oliver said the Giants are trying to avoid cramps. She just slipped them some Pamprin.
If I had known how good this game was going to be, I would not have committed to live blogging. What a nice surprise.
Tom Brady looks so pretty in that sack dress.
Best line of the day, from commercial promo for the next episode of Terminator: the Sarah Connor Chronicles.

"Is this your car?" -- asks unnamed goober

"No, it belongs to the guy I killed and stuffed in the trunk," says girl who played River in Firefly.

I give TP and the Heartbreakers two paws up. There were times when the vocal was a little lackluster, but they rocked overall. And they all looked like such upstanding gentlemen in their suits when they lined up at the end. Stephen Tyler, you're on notice. Wear your scarf around your neck, not your mike stand. And Mick J., stop with the size 2 stretch pants already. 50-yard penalty for abuse of spandex. TP, automatic first down, half the distance to the goal.
I've always loved, loved, loved Tom with a beard. And his hair looks much better since the invention of the flat iron.
Tom Petty, Live on Stage!
OK, on closeup, Tom sort of looks like Willie Nelson, and I don't know about the polka dotted scarf. That's a long way from the suave look he has here.
The New York Patriots? Did I hear that right?

Part II: Henry the Cat's Live Blog Super Bowl XLII

Did I predict 31-24 Patriots? Did anyone foresee Patriots 7-3 at the half? If you did, let me know and I'll award you the Nostradamus trophy.

I'm so glad helmets are a requirement. If Junior Seau were allowed to choose his own headgear for the game, this is what we'd be looking at for two hours.

Bad hat penalty flag >>>>>>
Why does Bill Belichick always look like he's wearing a smock?
fashion critique: Tom Brady is wearing a SACK DRESS!
Snack Fact #2:
Americans consume 12 million pounds of potato chips on Super Bowl Sunday. Cats consume 6 million pounds of Pounce.
Ooops. I am remiss. That last post was brought to you by our sponsor, Arm & Hammer Super Scoop.
Hmmm. I don't want to be crass, but if I'm offline for a while, it could be that the litter box is calling.
My favorite ad so far. The Terminator just sacked Cletus.
In case you missed it, Troy Aikman just said that Tom Brady's ankle is not a factor. Just so you know.
Unrelated to fashion: 6:45 left in the quarter and Tom Brady hasn't even put his foot on the grass.
Snack Fact #1.
Have you ever noticed that the Giants logo is the same typeface as m&m's?
Tom Brady is pain-free!
I just want to go on record that if Tom Petty lip syncs, I'm going to mail him a fresh hairball. No one hearts TP like I heart TP. But that could change.
I can't believe I waited all day for that. Jordin Sparks has zero balls. I no longer heart her.
Jordin Sparks is lip synching. I am speechless. So is she.
I am an American. An American cat! There's that lump in my throat again. And it's not a hairball this time.
OK, this U.S. history piece is encouraging partiality. After this excessive show of patriotism, you're gonna be labeled an enemy of freedom if you pull for the Giants.
Someone at our Super Bowl party just advised me that Howie is probably not allowed to wear a Patriots cap because, you know, he can't show partiality. My bad.
Howie just put on a Red Sox cap. Does he know who's playing?
Howie Long's gonna be licking his wounds at halftime. Jimmy Johnson just said that Tom Brady is better looking than him. Or was he saying Tom Brady was better looking than Terry Bradshaw? Doesn't matter. Either way, he's right.
I like it. If Tom Brady accepts Terry Bradshaw's marriage proposal, they won't have to get any new monogrammed towels.
Oh, no. Do you want to get married? Terry Bradshaw just proposed to Tom Brady.
I thought Tom's bouquet of flowers was kind of small. But sweet. The dimple trumps flowers.

From the "red carpet" earlier.
John Travolta: Hair by Wooly Willy
The softer side of Tom Coughlin. I have a lump in the throat. Oh. Sorry. That's a hairball.

The announcer just promised we're getting ready to see a side of Tom Brady we've never seen before. Will it be better than this side?
Howie: Blah, blah, blah. Terry: Blah, blah, blah. Are the writers on strike? Oh, yeah. The writers are on strike.
Joe Buck says Jordin Sparks will be the Giants' clue to get ready for this game. Wow. I wondered how they'd know when to start the game.
Russell Crowe gives Jimmy and Howie chills! Where's the Tylenol?
Well I've got nothing to say about Alicia Keys except: well-played girl--the piano and the ensemble. I dare say more people would rather see this display than a shirtless Jimmy Johnson.
Not to be outdone by Michael Strahan's video diary, Jimmy Johnson earlier shared this gem from his vacation scrapbook. I'm surprised he didn't crop Bill Belichick out of the photo. But the contrast makes him look even manlier. I think he should appear on the panel this way!

... and then after the smackdown was over, assistant coach Markus Paul raided her closet for these.

In case you missed it, here are some excerpts from Michael Strahan's Super Bowl diary.

Dear Diary: Giants defensive end Osi Umenyiora killed the Wicked Witch of the west and stole her shoes!
I just took a break to check my e-mail. I received an ad for how I could order Lorazepam, which I believe is a sedative. Sorry, don't need it. I have the Super Bowl pre-game show. And it's free! Some days you just get lucky.
I'm confused. That was a VIDEO? I thought that was a live performance. You mean she had more than one chance to get it right?
I feel like I'm at a nursing home talent show.
She's lip syncing to a Janet Jackson song! Well, that's new.
The Fox analysts have just told us that after the commercial break we're gonna see Paula Abdul do something she hasn't done in a while. I'm on pins and needles.
Ryan Seacrest not only has no knowledge of the game of football, he also has no knowledge of U.S. history. He just did a "red carpet" interview of some actor named John I've never seen before. Ryan asked him who he was rooting for, in spite of the fact that the guy was wearing a Patriots hat. I don't know. New England's logo is a little bit ambiguous. What do you think?
I had no idea the Super Bowl had a pre-pre-pre game show. In case you also were in the dark about that, and have been doing something constructive for the past 6 hours, let me hit the highlights. Patriots safety Rodney Harrison revealed that his nickname as a child was "Doody" because he always had really bad gas. Giants wide receiver Plaxico Burress likes to fish and he collects socks. He has, count 'em, 60 pairs. Get out!

Come in! Have some Peyton-Petty dip

The good part about this bowl of pundit dip is that it's in a disposable container. No after game cleanup!

Saturday, February 2, 2008

Super Bowl XLII Live Blog by Henry the Cat

Stay tuned ... coverage begins at 4 p.m. EST on Sunday, Feb. 3!

My pledge to you:
No fashion gaffe or inane utterance will escape my notice!